This is a pseudo-scientific classification of type of veterinary clients that you thought didn't exist, but they are. Each of them were handpicked from real experience at real veterinarian clinic. Proceed at your own risk.
1. LIAR
This type of client usually lied about their pets to cover up their negligence.
Favorite quote: "oh, Mr. Fluffy was not eating this morning", while clearly he was not eating for days
This type of client usually lied about their pets to cover up their negligence.
Favorite quote: "oh, Mr. Fluffy was not eating this morning", while clearly he was not eating for days
2. RELATED(?) PROFESSIONAL
This client is like some kind of activist that always state that their profession before talk about anything, as it will add weight to their argument. They often tried to correct you or outsmart you.
Favorite quote: "so I am a [insert profession here], and I think my pet is having [insert self-diagnosis here]". Dude, you come to my place to hear my professional opinion, not to let me hear you blabbering. If you want to pay people to hear you, try psychiatric next time.
This client is like some kind of activist that always state that their profession before talk about anything, as it will add weight to their argument. They often tried to correct you or outsmart you.
Favorite quote: "so I am a [insert profession here], and I think my pet is having [insert self-diagnosis here]". Dude, you come to my place to hear my professional opinion, not to let me hear you blabbering. If you want to pay people to hear you, try psychiatric next time.
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| While all evidence points to food allergic, duh |
3. DR. GOOGLE
This type come to your clinic armed with diagnosis from internet. They are like a well-rounded scholar, but instead citing scientific journal, they cite a blog or website that often misleading or at least annoy you.
Favorite quote: "so I think my dog got distemper. I read on [insert something from google here] that distemper will cause rash on the skin". Do you think every rash is distemper?
This type come to your clinic armed with diagnosis from internet. They are like a well-rounded scholar, but instead citing scientific journal, they cite a blog or website that often misleading or at least annoy you.
Favorite quote: "so I think my dog got distemper. I read on [insert something from google here] that distemper will cause rash on the skin". Do you think every rash is distemper?
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| Equals to search WebMD for your cough and end up with cancer |
4. DRUG TESTER
They are like dr. Google, but instead of finding diagnosis, they go one step ahead to treatment. Some of them use herbal, other use common spices, and some might use something that clearly dangerous for their pets.
Favorite quote: "my cat's eyes is getting worse after I drop honey on it". Have you test it on your eyes first and see how it feels, you hippie.
They are like dr. Google, but instead of finding diagnosis, they go one step ahead to treatment. Some of them use herbal, other use common spices, and some might use something that clearly dangerous for their pets.
Favorite quote: "my cat's eyes is getting worse after I drop honey on it". Have you test it on your eyes first and see how it feels, you hippie.
5. PRETENDERS
They will spend everything on anything, except their pet.
Favorite quote: "I'm sorry I can't afford the cost of spaying my cats", while walk away to their brand new Mercedes Benz.
They will spend everything on anything, except their pet.
Favorite quote: "I'm sorry I can't afford the cost of spaying my cats", while walk away to their brand new Mercedes Benz.
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| *drives away on Mercedes McLaren* |
6. "SAINT"
This type of client will preach after they see the bill or informed about the cost of a treatment, stating that all vets is a money grubbing creature. Even if it was their own fault that they didn't get the animal to the vet while it was not severe or whet their pet get a disease that easily preventable, but they didn't bother to do the preventative treatment.
Favorite quote: "A [insert reasonable cost here] only for that? You are money grubber, blood sucker vet". It's a miracle that your unvaccinated cat can survive from late stage of panleukopenia, and no, it was not an 'only that'. It was a 24 hour observation, continuous fluid therapy, numerous medication, bloodwork and test, not to mention feeding, forced or not.
This type of client will preach after they see the bill or informed about the cost of a treatment, stating that all vets is a money grubbing creature. Even if it was their own fault that they didn't get the animal to the vet while it was not severe or whet their pet get a disease that easily preventable, but they didn't bother to do the preventative treatment.
Favorite quote: "A [insert reasonable cost here] only for that? You are money grubber, blood sucker vet". It's a miracle that your unvaccinated cat can survive from late stage of panleukopenia, and no, it was not an 'only that'. It was a 24 hour observation, continuous fluid therapy, numerous medication, bloodwork and test, not to mention feeding, forced or not.
7. LOVER
This client think that because we (vet) love animals, we will do the treatment for a very cheap or even free. The forget that while we love animals, we need to make a living, and some of us has debt to paid, that won't accept 'love' as currency.
Favorite quote: "Why did you charge me, do you not love animals?". Well, next time I will hire you to repair my car, then I will tell you, "why did you charge me, don't you love cars?" and see how it feels, you motherfreaking lipsmacking fools.
This client think that because we (vet) love animals, we will do the treatment for a very cheap or even free. The forget that while we love animals, we need to make a living, and some of us has debt to paid, that won't accept 'love' as currency.
Favorite quote: "Why did you charge me, do you not love animals?". Well, next time I will hire you to repair my car, then I will tell you, "why did you charge me, don't you love cars?" and see how it feels, you motherfreaking lipsmacking fools.
8. ECONOMIST
This one use economy principle for their pets. They will never do anything that cost more than their pet's price when they get it. They often state that because their pet just a mongrel/domestic they should get lower cost for treatment. Often they refuse the treatment plan, or refuse to pay.
Favorite quote: "My cat is just a stray cat, why did it get so expensive?". There is no difference between intravenous fluid for breed and stray. The medication for breed and stray is essentially same.
This one use economy principle for their pets. They will never do anything that cost more than their pet's price when they get it. They often state that because their pet just a mongrel/domestic they should get lower cost for treatment. Often they refuse the treatment plan, or refuse to pay.
Favorite quote: "My cat is just a stray cat, why did it get so expensive?". There is no difference between intravenous fluid for breed and stray. The medication for breed and stray is essentially same.
9. GHOST
A client type that make you doubt everybody and do a thorough paperwork for every treatment. They come to your clinic, act like a nice person, agreed with the treatment plan, and then gone, leaving their pet at the clinic.
Favorite quote: "The number your calling is not active or out of coverage area". You will never see them again forever, you start doubting whether they do really exist or not.
A client type that make you doubt everybody and do a thorough paperwork for every treatment. They come to your clinic, act like a nice person, agreed with the treatment plan, and then gone, leaving their pet at the clinic.
Favorite quote: "The number your calling is not active or out of coverage area". You will never see them again forever, you start doubting whether they do really exist or not.
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| *fades away* |
10. TWO FACE
A client that seems nice and obedient, but later make a blunder themselves and tell everybody but you that it was your fault.
Favorite quote: "the vet was not informing about anything," and write about it on social media. While clearly when I explain to you, you babysitting your cat, playing with them and ignoring me, then said that you understand what I had said.
A client that seems nice and obedient, but later make a blunder themselves and tell everybody but you that it was your fault.
Favorite quote: "the vet was not informing about anything," and write about it on social media. While clearly when I explain to you, you babysitting your cat, playing with them and ignoring me, then said that you understand what I had said.
11. COMPLAINER
This one come to your clinic, accept your treatment plan, including a visit after a week, but never come. Several weeks later come and said that their pet was not getting better, while also that they fail to follow the given instruction for home medication. Usually they pet is on a disease that need long term medication, like skin disease.
Favorite quote: "my dog's skin is getting worse after I visit the vet". It might not happen if you obey your control appointment the week after your visit, and also inform that you can't get your dog to take the pills we got you. Why should I be responsible for your laziness?
This one come to your clinic, accept your treatment plan, including a visit after a week, but never come. Several weeks later come and said that their pet was not getting better, while also that they fail to follow the given instruction for home medication. Usually they pet is on a disease that need long term medication, like skin disease.
Favorite quote: "my dog's skin is getting worse after I visit the vet". It might not happen if you obey your control appointment the week after your visit, and also inform that you can't get your dog to take the pills we got you. Why should I be responsible for your laziness?
12. PRIORITY CHECK
So one day, a client come with his dog, dog diagnosed with skin disease, vet comes up with treatment plan and cost estimation, then client straight up reject the plan, said it will be better if they spend it on other things rather than his dog.
Favorite quote: "woah, so expensive. I'd rather spend it on a vacation instead". Dear arsehole, if you can't afford both your hobby and your pet at once, pick one.
So one day, a client come with his dog, dog diagnosed with skin disease, vet comes up with treatment plan and cost estimation, then client straight up reject the plan, said it will be better if they spend it on other things rather than his dog.
Favorite quote: "woah, so expensive. I'd rather spend it on a vacation instead". Dear arsehole, if you can't afford both your hobby and your pet at once, pick one.
13. NEWBIE
They are not essentially a jerk, but just inadequately informed about pet care, and picking a wrong start, biting more than they can chew.
Favorite quote: "so this is my first cat, and I don't know what happens with his eyes", and with them an exotic with severe tear stain. You are a new pet owner and this is your first cat, yet you pick an exotic cat with negative nose that need extra attention. Way too advance to learn.
They are not essentially a jerk, but just inadequately informed about pet care, and picking a wrong start, biting more than they can chew.
Favorite quote: "so this is my first cat, and I don't know what happens with his eyes", and with them an exotic with severe tear stain. You are a new pet owner and this is your first cat, yet you pick an exotic cat with negative nose that need extra attention. Way too advance to learn.
14. UNICORN
They are too rare that you think they didn't exist until you meet one. They come, bring their animals in, and after examination agreed with every treatment plan and actually follows your medical advice. They are not necessarily rich, as there is still rich people that sucks (see no. 8), but they do everything they can to ensure their animals treated. Sometimes when they are in tight budget, they not hesitant to discuss about payment plan (but not haggling) and yes, we'd love it if you talk openly with us and look for a way to make everybody happy. They are the reason of your existence and passion.
Favorite quote: "do what you need to treat my pet, I believe in your judgement". This is the greatest admiration of our profession, also the things that will lift our morale after all the long days.
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| ALL HAIL THE UNICORN |
DISCLAIMER: Any similarities with real person or event were unintentional. Or not.
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